• The Welcome Address
• Declaration of Consent
• Exchange of Rings
• Vows
• Pronouncement of Marriage

I send my client-couples samples of vows upon request.

Q - Can you help us write our vows?
A - Yes, I have samples from several wedding vows that a bride and groom would say to each other. Upon request, I send my client-couples a selection of the sample wedding vows. Most couples choose to use these vows as a starting point just for ideas and then they write their own. That way, the couple is saying what is truly in their hearts. If their vows are returned to me at least 2 weeks before the wedding date, they are printed within the same (optional) keepsake ceremony booklet that I am reading from to perform the ceremony. Then during the wedding ceremony, when it is time for them to say their vows, I simply hand them the book. I normally have the couples' personal vows to come after the ring exchange so the bride has her hands free of the bouquet.

Q - Would you perform a renewal of wedding vows?
A - Yes, I have performed several wedding vow renewal ceremonies. These are usually held on a significant anniversary, but not necessarily. You may invite friends and family or keep it quiet and simple for just the two of you. If you will be inviting a large group, you may want a rehearsal as well. I am pleased to perform a renewal of vows at any location in Virginia.

Q - Do you perform commitment ceremonies?
A - Yes, I do - and my policies, services and prices are the same. I will perform commitment ceremonies at any location in Virginia - or even in other states or countries. Services include performing the ceremony in the style of your choice, and professional wedding photography. You may wish to invite friends and family to share this special day, or you may want to keep it private. That is up to you. Furthermore, if you choose to go to The Netherlands to become legally married in that country, I will be happy to go there to perform a ceremony for your special occasion and also provide wedding photography services.

Q - How long should a wedding ceremony be?
Of course that varies with many different circumstances, but there are some generalities I could suggest. An indoor wedding with comfortable seating and climate control can be quite a bit longer than an outdoor wedding or one in which all your guests are standing.

A - I've seen beautiful weddings that were more than 30 minutes long and some equally beautiful ones that were less than 15.

Q - May we have friends or family members read or sing special selections that are particularly meaningful to us?
A - Certainly! I would be pleased to work with you on such special arrangements. Upon request, I send my client-couples a list of recommended authors for readings and also have a collection of readings that have been used in the past. You may use these resources as a starting point or find your own readings that are meaningful to you.

Q - How do we arrange for you to perform our ceremony?
A - First, decide on a date, time and package. Then send me an e-mail at Love@blueridgeweddings.com to see if I am available. If so, I will send you a contract by e-mail. You would need to return the contract with a 50% down payment (by Visa or Matercard). The down payment ensures that I will turn down other weddings for that date and time, so it is therefore not refundable if you should cancel. Some of the more simple packages are able to be reserved online rather than by contract.

Personalizing Your Wedding Ceremony
(An article by Frankee Love, Wedding Officiant)

Many couples come to me and ask how they can have a wedding ceremony that is totally unique and one that truly reflects their feelings for each other. They want wording that is relevant to them as a young couple rather than an ordinary ceremony that is just like all the others. Usually, they also have an interest in satisfying the family members who have a more traditional view of what a wedding should be like. This is exactly the type of challenge I enjoy the most. However, writing an original, customized wedding ceremony is not included with basic pricing, so additional fees apply. Here are some examples:

The bride and groom had met each other while rock climbing and continued to enjoy the sport as did most of their friends who were going to attend the wedding. They wanted a wedding ceremony that reflected their interests and friendships. However, their parents, aunts and uncles had a different opinion of the ideal wedding ceremony. They envisioned scripture, romantic prose and some familiar “to have and to hold” language. The couple loves their relatives and wanted them to feel comfortable about the wedding. Therefore I was charged with the task of blending two wedding styles into one seamless harmony. I approached the task by learning a great deal about rock climbing - the terminology, philosophies, and required strengths. I began making analogies between those points and the requirements of a good marriage. There were many comparisons that could be made such as the trust that a rock climber must have in his or her partner. The ceremony flowed in and out of rock climber territory and contained enough familiar “from this day forward” language to satisfy all who attended. The wedding was beautiful. It took place on a mountain edge and in sight of the very mountain range where the couple had grown to love each other.

Another example is the bride and groom that were wildlife photographers and environmentalists. Again, they wanted a ceremony that celebrated their own uniqueness and yet had enough familiar language to satisfy the family. I created a ceremony that was similar to the Rose Ceremony that many have heard but we used wildflowers instead. There were many references to the natural beauty of the surroundings – including the rain because it was pouring at the time! Afterwards family members and contemporary friends both came up to me and remarked what an inspirational ceremony it was.

If I had to sum up some advice about personalizing wedding ceremonies, I would say that there are a few points that are essential:

• Look for ways that your unique interests relate to a traditional wedding concept
• Build bridges into the ceremony to connect the non-traditional to the traditional
• Have fun, but don’t make your wedding a joke
• Keep an open mind, but maintain the dignity of the moment

Remember you are making a public pledge that you will love and trust each other for the rest of your lives. This is important and it should be treated like an important occasion.

Adventure Weddings
An article by Frankee Love, Wedding Officiant)

When I was first appointed a marriage celebrant by a Circuit Court Judge, my intention was to specialize in “adventure weddings” I envisioned marrying couples in kayaks as the whole wedding party and I floated down the James River. In my mind, it was all worked out. The bride and groom would come from opposite river banks paddling solo and followed by their respective attendants. Once I pronounced them husband and wife, they would climb into a larger kayak and paddle in tandem. The photographer and non-paddling relatives would be on the bridge above the river. It was going to be so much fun. Then there was the horseback scenario, the bicycle scenario and the hot air balloon scenario.

I quickly learned however, that most couples may fantasize about getting married in adventure settings, but few really want to do it. It may be because of concern for non-adventure loving family members… or maybe they just come to their senses and decide to maintain a sense of decorum on this momentous occasion. I can understand that.

But I would like couples to know that I am open to the concept of adventure weddings—as long as there is no physical danger involved. If there is a sport that you both enjoy, why not get married while participating in that sport? Read more about adventure weddings >>

International Wedding Traditions
(An article from several other sources)

Egyptian Weddings
Marriage has special significance to Egyptians. They consider it the most important event in their lives because it means a moral way of psychological and biological satisfaction. The Ancient Egyptians were the first people to establish marriage laws in the world. Courtship started by the groom-to-be’s family visiting his fiancée’s family to get their approval to complete the marriage agreement, which contained two main items: an amount of money, called Mahr, paid by the suitor to his fiancée’s family to help them repair the furniture of their daughter and valuable jewelry gift, called Shabka, given by the suitor to his fiancée.

The wedding celebration started after sunset the night before the wedding, where the couple wore their best dresses and jewelry. The bride was transported to her new house on a horse or camel with a musical band and the attendants sprayed the cortege with green wheat as a symbol of fertility. Several kinds of cooked meats as well as vegetables and fruit were prepared for the attendants, who danced and sang music all night. In the morning, the wife’s mother and her sisters visited her and gave her some food.

Eurasian
The local Eurasian community is a colorful blend of East and West cultures. Eurasians are a unique ethnicity with an internally – coherent system of life, language and customs. They are an established community with long roots in Singapore’s history. Unlike most Asian cultures, there has never been any overt form of matchmaking. Because most of the Eurasian community is Catholic, certain religious proceedings such as the blessing of the engagement ring by the priest are still being observed. Wedding announcements are still made within the context of the church.

In the past, the wedding reception was an affair that was managed more by the bride’s family since the reception was conventionally held at the bride’s residence. The wedding celebrations are joyous with much toasting, live music and confetti being thrown at the bride and groom as they depart in their wedding car with cans and bottles tied to the bumper.

Indian Weddings
Hindu marriage signifies the lifelong commitment of one wife and one husband and is the strongest social bond that can exist between a man and woman. Known as Grahastha Ashram, which literally means a householder stage, the second of a total of our rites of passage in life, is completed when a man marries and forms a household. Because marriage is so important, the wedding is a large affair. Traditional Indian families are known to go out of their way to make it an extravagant. The celebration can last as long as 15 days.

On the day of the wedding, the entire event starts off with musicians playing. The bride is normally placed in a seat that is designed to resemble the Lotus formation, under a roof made of leaves and flowers. Relatives and other guests will come together in prayer. Guests remove their shoes, sprinkle red powder onto the couple’s forehead as an act of blessing, followed by rice grains. Coins are rotated three times around their heads before they are dropped into a bowl of water that is placed just beside the bride. The main ceremony is held in the evening and the venue is decorated extensively with strings of scented flowers and petals.

Indonesian Weddings
One of the most important concepts of Indonesian weddings is “the more the merrier.” Literally every friend, acquaintance, colleague and business partner could be invited to the wedding. Even if someone did not receive an invitation personally addressed to him/her, it is ok to go to an Indonesian wedding if invited by a group of people who were invited. Indonesians are truly honored by your presence at the wedding. Unlike most western cultures, although one may be invited to both ceremony and reception, most people will attend the reception only. If one wants to attend the ceremony, it is important to ask the person who invited you if it is all right to do so.

Families and extended families of the bride and groom usually are attired in traditional dress. Depending on the economic status of the couple, the “grand entrance” into the reception can be quite elaborate, sometimes preceded by dancers who give a traditional dance performance before the wedding couple goes on stage to do their first dance. Speeches are a huge part of the Indonesian wedding and occur regularly throughout the wedding reception. Alcohol is very rarely served at an Indonesian wedding and it is considered rude to come to an Indonesian wedding after drinking.

Japanese Weddings
Japanese people love to have a party Western style, especially a wedding. Almost all wedding halls have a miniature Japanese shrine inside, to have a new couple vow their marriage to the Japanese God (there’s not actually one God which signifies marriage, though). Japanese people traditionally believed there are many gods in the world. A bride wears a pure white Japanese kimono in front of the god at first, changes into a colorful kimono at the beginning of the wedding party, changes again into a beautiful Western-style dress in the middle of the party and finally to a pure white wedding dress (Western-style).

If you’re invited to a wedding in Japan, some of the traditions include: not bringing a gift on the day of the wedding; instead of a gift, one brings “Goshugi” (money); Goshugi does not replace gifts, however, which should be sent either prior or after the ceremony itself; one may not eat the main meal until the toast (“Kampai”); after the couple has made a grand entrance, they will open a barrel of sake that is served for toasting, thus marking the beginning of the feast. In modern times, karaoke is particularly popular.

The Celtic Wedding Ceremony
Most of the traditions of the Celtic wedding ceremony come from centuries of pastoral or village traditions where courtship is under the scrutiny of parents, family elders or matchmakers. Feasting, drinking, dancing, blessings and gifts would occupy several days. It used to be that if you break short bread over the brides and groom’s heads as they left the church, the unmarried youths present would scramble to eat a bit of it off the ground to insure a good match for their own marriage.

Today, cutting the cake over the bride’s head at the reception has replaced this tradition. Among many other traditions, it is considered bad luck for the bride and groom to meet on their wedding day before they meet at the church and it is considered good luck to take a different route leaving the church than arriving at the church. This signifies that life is different now for the bride and groom.

Danish Weddings
Perhaps the most popular tradition in Danish weddings is the Gate of Honor, which is set up in front of the bride’s parents’ house. It is made of a long garland of branches put up as an inverted U to form an archway. The branches are made from pine, but beach or oak are sometimes used as well.

Another tradition is at the reception, when the groom leaves the party for a short time and while he is away all the men go up and kiss her. The same thing happens for the bride. After dinner, when dancing, the groom’s family will circle around the groom and get closer and closer and when he is completely encircled, they will put out a pair of scissors and cut his tie and socks.

United Arab Emirates
As a tradition in the United Arab Emirates, the setting of the wedding date marks the beginning of the bride's preparation for her wedding. Although the groom is also put through a series of preparations, the bride's are naturally more elaborate and time-consuming. In preparation for her wedding, the she is anointed with all sorts of traditional oils and perfumes from head to toe. Her body is rubbed with henna and the hair is washed with extracts of amber and jasmine. She is fed only the best of foods and her girlfriends prepare the best dishes, which they share with her.

The week before the wedding is filled with festivities with traditional music and singing, which continues - perhaps even more so - in today's weddings. For the wedding day, the bride's eyes are lined in a dramatic Arabian Kohl, her hair is perfumed, and hands and feet are decorated in henna. At the reception, there are back-to-back feasts and celebrations that involve both men and women who generally celebrate separately.

As a Virginia wedding officiant, similar to a Justice of the Peace, I offer wedding services for both large and small weddings - from the casual, intimate wedding to the large formal wedding.

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